Words by Isabelle Cameron
IF you look up ‘long-distance relationships (LDR)’ on Google you will be met with a great many self-help articles, guide blogs and forums that have the question: ‘How to make LDR work?’
It really is enough to scare anyone off. I mean, as if movies, TV shows and books aren’t scaring us off relationships generally already. The idea of LDR may as well be displayed to us drenched in blood with a big ‘BEWARE’ sticker slammed across it. It’s scary-failed-to-doom stuff.
I have been in two long-distance relationships. One was only for 6 months and the other is now at the year and half mark and still going strong. Therefore, I’m clearly an expert.
Seeing how I’m an expert, I thought I would share some pearls of wisdom re: the thing with LDR.
Don’t compare your relationship to your friends’
This is just a given. No two relationships are the same, no matter how similar they may seem.
The only thing this can do is evoke jealousy in you and create a set of unrealistic expectations that your distant partner simply cannot meet – distance and all.
Realise it takes two to tango
You may feel alone, but you are not alone in your loneliness. It’s about realising that there is someone out there who is going through the same struggles you are. Better yet, that person is going through it for you. How nice.
Remember that other person who, incidentally, is really the only one that can help make it better.
But here is my main tip:
Quit yo whinging!
With LDR you have to be in it to win it. If the end goal of just being with your significant other, or the possibility of one day living in the same postcode doesn’t outweigh your loneliness during the long-distance part – then quit!
If you find that you spend most of your time dramatically singing along to “All
By Myself” with a tub of ice cream – Bridget Jones style – then quit!
If it is too hard and you don’t think it is worth it then just… quit foo!
It is as simple as that. No one knows better than you how worth it, it is.
Otherwise, you might be of my personal persuasion, which is that finding someone who clicks with you in so many ways is a rare thing indeed.
Add onto that, the fact that despite the distance ‘that person’ still manages to make you feel loved and feeling loved is very nice.
Then to top it off, you trust ‘that person’ and if you think about it, trusting a person who just waltzes into your life one day enough to even begin a LDR to start with, is kind of crazy. Yet, here you are (hopefully) nodding along to this article.
You crazy fool.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, the thing about long-distance is that it isn’t really about the distance at all.